"When Mythical Creatures Meet" by Matthew T. Summers

"You really think this is a good idea?"  Bigfoot scratched at his back absently.  "I mean, those people down there?  They don't seem to like me much."

"What are you talking about?"  The Wicked Witch of the West cackled, "All they're trying to do with you is take your damn picture!  A footprint here, a sighting by some drunkard there, and whammo, you're part of American history!"  She scratched at her crooked green nose absently.  "Now, me, I've got it rough.  Ever since that damn movie back in the 30s, everyone that ever meets me just wants to throw water on me and take my shoes!"

She began to sob uncontrollably.  "Do you know what that's done to my dating life?!?  I keep having to cheat and use Glenda the Good Witch's picture on my profile online, for god's sake!  The minute anyone on Facebook finds out I'm THAT Wicked Witch of the West, and everyone just de-friends me!"

"There, there."  The Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man put his arm around her gently, careful to not get any sticky marshmallow goodness on her.  "At least your image hasn't been stolen by the Michelin Man.  My own college roommie, even…"  He shook his head sadly.  

"Yeah."  The Wicked Witch of the West sniffed, wiping at her eyes as she did so.  "How'd that lawsuit go, anyway?"

"Eh.  A hung court.  We're heading to the next round, but he can afford quite a bit better lawyers than I can."

"That's the amusing part."  The Jabberwocky pointed a crooked finger at them.  "Here we are, supposedly mythical creatures… yet can we find a decent lawyer in this town?  No!  They're harder to find than WE are!"  He shook his head.  "It makes me sick to think of how much we've spend on legal protection of our images, and those wolves just keep asking for more and more and more and… and…"

"Remember your blood pressure, Jabby."  Bigfoot adjusted the pack on his back.  "The doctor said you'll blow a gasket if you don't calm down occasionally."

"Yeah yeah."  The Jabberwocky flipped Bigfoot the bird.  "So we going to do this, or what?"

"Give me a minute."  The Wicked Witch of the West adjusted her hat on her head.  "Where are those damn monkeys with my broom?  I swear, it's so hard to find good help these days…"

The Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man nodded.  "Yeah… how're they doing with their correspondence courses?  Any of em going into the law field?"

"Ugh, don't get me started."  The Wicked Witch of the West peered across the horizon, but there still wasn't any sign of movement.  "The vast majority of em are going into I.T., something about 'ensuring future hirability' or some nonsense like that.  They keep saying I don't pay em enough, they want more benefits, dental… what's the point of minions if they unionize, you know?"

"I wouldn't know."  Bigfoot sniffed in disdain.  "I've always worked alone.  Most of the more successful monsters do, you know."

"Oh don't get him started."  The Jabberwocky plugged both of his ears with his fingers.  "The last thing I want to hear about how well the Loch Ness Monster is doing!"

"But it's a fine comparison!"  Bigfoot placed two large, hairy hands on his hips and stared down at the Jabberwocky.  "She's made quite a name for herself, you know!  She pulls the same shtick I do with random appearances…"

"Except she's successful at her work, and you're not," sneered the Wicked Witch of the West.

Bigfoot ignored the Wicked Witch of the West as he continued, "… she's branched out online into new fields of study as to whether or not she exists, she makes a butt-load of cash from advertising on her websites, and all she has to do it keep the rumors floating on the forums occasionally with doctored images of her."

"Then why haven't you done this yourself?"  The Jabberwocky pointed a finger at Bigfoot.  "I mean, hell, she's doing all this with flippers!  You've got fingers at least!"

"Do you know where I live, Jabberwocky?"  Bigfoot snarled, "It's impossible to get high speed internet out in the boonies where I live!  The entire Loch has almost 3G speeds, and what does that not cover is bathed in unsecure wireless access points!  It's insane!  Even with satellite, I'm showing less than 56k speeds most of the time!  You can't use that to compare, it's not fair!"

"Life's not fair.  Ah, finally!"  The Wicked Witch of the West cackled as two large winged monkeys landed with her broomstick and hat.  "Where have you two been?  We've been waiting forever!"

One of them grinned.  "We were down at the zoo.  Marty here's got his eye on that new chimp they just brought in… he was trying for a conjugal visit with her."

"I was not!"  His eyes flaring, the other winged monkey turned on the first.  "I just wanted to see if she was available, that's all!"

"Yeah, sure.  And I'm sure the dozen bananas you had in your satchel were there just by accident, huh."

"Why, you…"

"Boys, stop it."  The Wicked Witch of the West adjusted the hat on her head again.  "Ok, fine, I'm ready."

"About time."  The Jabberwocky scratched at his ear and turned away.  "Everyone ready to go?"  A chorus of "Ayes!" greeted his ears, and he nodded.  "Ok, this is the only time of the year we get to do this, so let's make this count!"

They moved as one, approaching the closest door with all the grace a group of fictional creatures could muster.  One of the monkeys, prodded on by the Wicked Witch of the West, approached the door and run the doorbell hesitantly.

When the door opened, they all roared as one.

"Trick or Treat!!!"